even though it's late,

and I'm stressed, I feel an excited determination about school that I haven't felt in a long time. I'm working on a project for computer science - a "Paddleship" game that will play my classmates' games in an AI tournament for a free 100 on the final. It is hard and I am stuck and I have no idea what to do next, but I'm having fun. I might be having a little more fun if I actually knew what I was doing (ha), but this feeling of "I WILL find something that works even if it kills me" is great. Even better is when I have a mini-lightbulb moment and solve a problem: for a short second, I feel like the most brilliant person in the world. Unstoppable. Then I realize that my solution only illuminated seventeen more problems I still have to work out, and I'm back to this-is-going-to-kill-me-but-I'm-having-fun-anyway.

I'd choose this kind of crazy frustration over "Vincent Persichetti and the Development of the 20th Century Wind Band" or "The Development of Meideval Polyphony and its Effect on Later Music" anyday. You can quote me on that.

need more water

so there i was, innocently eating some thai food while i stared uncomprehendingly at my calculus homework. all of the sudden, tears flooded my eyes and fire alarms went off in my head. i made all sorts of horrifying, animal-like noises and finally managed to spit my mouthful back into the carton. there i saw the offender: a thai jalapeno hidden among the yummy vegetables and rice in my cashew chicken. that thing is packing a walloping 150,000 on the scoville scale. i quickly downed three bottles of water and still my mouth burns. and i really have to go to the bathroom. OW. OW. OW.

there in the corner is what's left of that nasty little sucker. (i removed the already chewed bits before i took a picture, don't worry.)