Sunday, March 04, 2007

flowers and crutches

On Valentine's Day, throughout the course of the day a piercing pain slowly developed in the center of my right foot. When I woke up the next morning, my foot was red and swollen. I could barely walk. I went to the doctor and she informed that I had a puncture wound in the bottom of my foot. I would just like to know how a person gets a puncture wound without noticing it. I mean, seriously. Something stabbed me and I didn't notice?

The doctor poked and prodded at it for a few minutes, with me holding back tears and trying to pretend like I'm not really the biggest baby on the face of the planet when it comes to pain tolerance. When she determined that whatever was inside my foot wasn't coming out anytime soon, she gave me a pair of crutches, some pain medication and instructions to come back the next morning.

I took my pain medication, Ultram, and about an hour later I was a mess. I was dizzy and light-headed and apparently I was saying some weird stuff. Just babbling on and on without making any sense. Something about dragons. (Ultram is a narcotic drug with addictive properties.) Yikes.

The next day when I went to the doctor again, I told her what happened the night before and she told me to definitely stop taking the Ultram immediately. Then she noticed I had an infection in my still-swollen foot. Another prescription, this time for an antibiotic. A GIANT pill.

This whole time, I was using crutches. Now, when I was in elementary school, kids would come to school all the time on crutches for their broken leg or sprained ankle or whatever. I was so jealous of those kids! I wanted to use crutches. So when the doctor gave me a pair of crutches, inside I was excited! Thank goodness for this mysterious hole in the bottom of my foot! I get to use crutches!

That lasted about ... 10 minutes. Dude. Crutches hurt. After about three hours of use I had giant bruises in my armpits and sore upper arm muscles. So mostly, I sat in my room. If I needed to move for any reason, I hopped as much as possible. A giant crippled flamingo kangaroo.

Chris, on the other hand, loved my crutches. He hopped around on them all the time. One day Maggie cleaned her side of the room so we had actual floor space, and Chris came in and said, "Cool - room to practice!"

He's silly.

He also gave me these gorgeous flowers on Valentine's Day:

mmmm gerbera daisies...

So anyway, to summarize: I got a hole in my foot. I have 28 Ultram pills that I don't know what to do with. I wonder how much those would sell for? JOKE. BIG JOKE. Crutches are miserable and I wish I'd known that in elementary school. My boyfriend is a goofball with wonderful taste in flowers. My foot is now all better. I've never been so grateful fo the ability walk in my life.

Moral of the story: Watch where you walk.

Have a great day!!

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